Gospel in the Stupe

Said to a sinner: "God looks at you and sees the righteousness of Christ"

Summertime.

Overheard in Saga, the speaker is trying to convince a girl to come work for his organization for the summer:

Guy: Women live to what? 80?
Girl: Average is 76.
Guy: (Gets out cell phone, types a few numbers in) Statistically speaking, you have 684 months left to live. This summer is just 3 of them.

At a Table of Philosophy Majors

"Sex is the answer to mind-body dualism."

Prior to African-American Church Chapel

"I'm trying to be white, but I just can't pull it off."

A Healthy Appetite for Books

Overheard in Buswell:
"Hmm, the computer says you have $65 in fines."

SuperSenior

"Yeah, I've gotta get financial aid straightened out. It's harder for fifth year seniors. They don't like to give you money because you're obviously just bumming around."

Faster = Better

Girl: Swing dancing at Wheaton is stupid. The tempo is way too slow.

Slow dancing sucks. It literally makes me sick.
Guy: It can be fun if you've got a date, like, someone you've got, like, romantic interest in.
Girl: No, not even then. It sucks.