Perhaps you should be. . .

from a girl walking down the stairs in the Student Service Building:

"I'm just not used to having to think before I speak."

...Choice quote from the Northwoods campus.

Guy shoving laundry into the back of his car: "You know you're at HoneyRock when the cool thing to do on Saturday night is laundry in town."

Guy in car driving through Eagle River on Friday night: "Wow. Everything's already closed by 8:00? This is like Wheaton 2.o".

Two Responses to Finals

Option 1: Despair
Girl 1: "AAAAA. I can't do this! I'm going to faaaaaaiiilll" (Here she proceeds to bury her head in arms of girl 2 who consoles her with a reassuring voice)

Option 2: Dismissal
Guy 1: "Oh my gosh, I have so much work to do. I'm going to go back to my room and watch more episodes of Battlestar Galactica!"

She speaks truth.

"Calories don't count during finals week."

- a girl in the Stupe

Food Stereotypes

A female in a loud exclamation after someone's suggestion:
"I can't be a Vegetarian--I'm Asian!"

Moms take better notes

Guy on phone: "What did he say, Dad? N-n-n-no, n-n-n-no. You gotta give me the Mom version. I want ALL the details!"

As if he hadn't been through enough already

While in a NT discussion about the Ethiopian eunuch's salvation and subsequent baptism: "He should get circumcised too, just to be safe."

Justifying Philosophy Major Stereotypes

Guy 1 approaches Guy 2 and Guy 3 who are sitting at a SAGA table

Guy 1: "Hey, do you mind if I sit with you guys?"

Guy 2: "Well, me and Guy 3 are talking about philosophy, so. . ."

[Guy 1 sits alone at adjacent table]

Maybe not as globally-aware as we'd like to think...

Guy 1: So Bulgaria is in Western Europe?

Guy 2: Yeah, I think so.

Guy 1: Huh. . . I always thought it was in South America.

Guy 2: My mom spent a while in Bulgaria.

Guy 1: Really?

Guy 2: Yeah. Well, either there or Ethiopia.

Bromance?

In Saga tonight, from a guy having dinner with his buddies (also male):

"Sometimes I just really like to touch his muscles."

From a girl, no less.

"Why do we live in the part of the world where I have to take showers regularly?"

Gospel in the Stupe

Said to a sinner: "God looks at you and sees the righteousness of Christ"

Summertime.

Overheard in Saga, the speaker is trying to convince a girl to come work for his organization for the summer:

Guy: Women live to what? 80?
Girl: Average is 76.
Guy: (Gets out cell phone, types a few numbers in) Statistically speaking, you have 684 months left to live. This summer is just 3 of them.

At a Table of Philosophy Majors

"Sex is the answer to mind-body dualism."

Prior to African-American Church Chapel

"I'm trying to be white, but I just can't pull it off."

A Healthy Appetite for Books

Overheard in Buswell:
"Hmm, the computer says you have $65 in fines."

SuperSenior

"Yeah, I've gotta get financial aid straightened out. It's harder for fifth year seniors. They don't like to give you money because you're obviously just bumming around."

Faster = Better

Girl: Swing dancing at Wheaton is stupid. The tempo is way too slow.

Slow dancing sucks. It literally makes me sick.
Guy: It can be fun if you've got a date, like, someone you've got, like, romantic interest in.
Girl: No, not even then. It sucks.

True Faith

A student was checking out information about the Sesquicentennial Gala, when an older staff person walked by:

Staff person: Well, what are you waiting for? Buy the tickets!

Student: I don't know. . . they're pretty expensive.

Staff person: You have a girl to take, don't you?

Student: No. . . not really.

Staff person: Well, buy them in faith!

I think it's a noble ambition.

"You know what I want to do? I want to get married and have babies."

If you had a parrot. . .

"Then on the second date, I went for the arm around the shoulder."

Asparagus.

While at Women's Chorale dinner, the conversation at the table lulls just in time for everyone to hear from the next table: "Am I going to have to go out and hire a baby to eat asparagus in front of you?"

Singleness

Person 1: I really want to be a parent.

Person 2: Oh, are you working on that?

Person 1: Well, its coming--slowly.

Originally?

How tall were you originally?

Yeah, enjoy that.

Called out loudly from a neighboring apartment: "Have fun on your RDT!"

Your mom. . .

Between two Turner construction workers:

"You keep my mother out of this!"

Would you rather. . . ?

Overheard near the tray return in saga -

Girl: "She'd rather carry a child, TO TERM."

He does what?

Several days I ago I was walking behind a group of friends, and I heard one of them say, "Yeah, and he practices his poetry for [girl's name] on me, and that's hard enough."

And then I noticed they were all in Arena Theater, and I am hoping that provides context.

We all sympathize.

Just after dinner:

One guy: Wanna check CPO?

Other guy: Nah, I did just before dinner.

First guy: Aw, come one.

Other guy: Okay.

Innocently Off-color

Up at HoneyRock for the Wheaton In the Northwoods intensive session, while playing the 'hand game' on the table, trying to get arms properly interlinked, a young man says to a young woman:

"Hold on, I'm going to go inside you."

Horrified laughter erupts.

I want it to be a word too, friend

Girl: "Oh, that's terrible!"
Guy: "Yeah. Not integritous. At all."

Impressive.

amidst the impassioned mutterings of a passerby,

"such a Constantinople complex!"

Now the question is whether this pertains to a roommate, significant other, or professor.
Hmmm.

Underheard?

Overheard in an apartment bathroom from below.

Guy #1: "Hey, watcha doin' in there?"

Guy #2: "You know, just taking a bath... and watching a little "Office"."

Guy #1: "Oh, okay."

...a little while later the drain unplugs and the water starts gushing down. Movies in the bathtub must be a luxury afforded to upperclassmen with apartments, laptops, and a little free time.