overSEEN at Wheaton

Quick, someone call Public Safety!

Yes, it really is a picture of a Wheaton College van parked in a Wheaton College No Parking Zone. September 30, 2009.

I'm not even sure context would help.

Guy in the Stupe:

"Dude! Oh shoot, dude! I think I just stepped on your grandma."

Sorry, conservies.

"Oh yeah, you're in the conservatory. You don't learn about real things."

well, whatever animates you...

"When I first came to Wheaton I was going to be a great art major. Too bad Wheaton completely discredits manga!"

Quite a woman

"Dude, she's just so darn cute...and she's solid and talented. Guys should be flocking to her

like salmon to San Juan Capistrano."

T.M.I.

Girl: "It's Wednesday! Guess what that means!"

Guy: "What?"

Girl: "I haven't shaved in a week!"

Oh, that is rough.

"My biggest problem is that I have a party to go to every night this week."

John Calvin is rolling over in his grave.

"Isn't there, like, a theology sparknotes I can read? That would make this a lot easier."

- in the Stupe

Thank you. I wanted to know that.

Written in pink highlighter on a piece of paper found in a book from Buswell library:

"I called him and told him I'm not gonna make out with him tonight!"

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Guy: "Oh my gosh! This is my first time seeing snow!"

Girl: "OH MY GOSH - You've NEVER seen SNOW?! . . . Oh MY GOSH it's coming down SO HARD!"

Rather.

"Sometimes I don't wear my wedding ring when I go out because it doesn't look as cool when I do the single ladies dance."

More Girls Apply Than Guys, so...

"To get into Wheaton you have to be beautiful, intelligent, smart, and hardworking...[pause]...or you have to be a guy."

Parents sometimes don't get it.

"Video games don't exist on facebook, Mom."

- overheard from a girl in the Stupe

Overheard in SAGA

"Sesquicentennial? SASQUATCH-centennial! Heh heh, sasquatch-centennial..."

Tasty Malnutrition

Overheard in SAGA:

After one guy sits down with pizza, pepsi and cake for lunch,
Other guy: "In thirty years when you have rickets and I do not, I will refer you to this moment."

I feel convicted. . . and conflicted.

I don't think eating chocolate is wrong. It's just being enslaved to it . . . it's such a hard balance.

Whoa.

Overheard in the lower Beamer Center:

loud girl - "You work for the Tower?"

quiet guy - "Yeah."

loud girl - "So are you responsible for the fascism?"

quiet guy - "What?"

Oh well.

From a guy in the Beamer Center:

"Wheaton girls are either too immature or too conservative."

On heart to hearts

Some guy talking to his friend in saga:

"Seriously though, girls talk to me so much more now that I have facebook chat!"

A very good question.

From two girls at a table in the stupe, "So why exactly did they castrate themselves?"

Communications credit

Two guys walking out of chapel today were discussing the COMM 101 class.

"If you're in a long distance relationship, that should count as communications credit."

"Yeah, it involves a lot of ... communicating."

Eat more. . .

In the Stupe-

"Dude, Chick-fil-A kills like a LOT of chickens."

This makes me so sad and angry, I'm not sure I want to post it.

"No - from far away, she was pretty, but then you got up close... she was ugly. And I was so sad for him."

-Girl on phone

Mmmm. yes.

"What if Legos grew on trees. . . that would be awesome!"

Must be a Presbyterian

Till I came to Wheaton i think i thought everyone knew the Westminster Catechism.

Bad news, buddy.

Outside the BGC the other evening:

"Gosh, it's so cold out. It might as well be snowing already!"

God's Not Awkward

This weekend God spoke to me clearer than ever before. Like, out LOUD. I was in the shower, which makes it kinda weird, but I feel like thats okay because--you know--it's God.

Drama Queen

"Like, my Schubert stuff is SOOO beautiful, and my professor gives me folk music? Like...seriously? It's like "toodle-dee toodlle-dee." Like...are you serious?"

Gaming

During a conversation about video game lingo:

"I don't like RL (sic) [real life]. There's too much spawn camping."

Oh, men.

spoken by a female in the Stupe, in much agitation:

"How am I supposed to know how he's feeling?! He never talks about his feelings! It's ridiculous!!"

Dorm life

Tonight one of my female roommates said, "I can't imagine ever having a guy roommate." To which my other roommate responded: "That's called being married."

In Fischer, just before the pillow fight on the quad

"Dude, no, this is a $60 pillow I got for Christmas!"

Whoops

At Chapel the other day we were singing a song with something about being "far apart," but I accidently sang it "fart." I was like, "Sorry, Lord!" and hoped no one heard me.

Merely a suggestion.

Heard at the ring-by-spring table:

A girl to her friends: "You're filling out this survey. I want nieces and nephews."

Preying on the Freshmen?

Guy: Hey umm. . . could I . . err. . possibly borrow Twilight?

Girl: Sure thing!

Guy: It's just for our floor. . . no, I mean, like for our sister floor. . .

Girl: Wait a minute!! Are you trying to hit on freshmen?

It would be a good idea to learn about Nate and Jim.

"I really like the St. Elliot apartments, but when I tell my friends from high school where I live it makes it sound like I go to some Pape school."

This is unfortunate.

"I would take communion, but I just can't stand grape juice."

Be in good taste, friends.

Wilhelmina has scruples. Guest submitters, let's agree to keep this blog out of the gutter.

Coed Study Session

Co-ed study sessions are always productive.

Guy 1: Dude, where have you been all evening. The lib?
Guy 2: Yeah, I was studying.
Guy 1: With WHO?
Guy 2: [Short list of names, all female]
Guy 1: Uh-huh, I'll BET you were studying!
Guy 2: No, I was studying!
Guy1: Sure you were...studying someONE.

Different Types of Students

P1: Dude, are you actually reading that?

P2: What, this? Plato's Republic? Yep.

P1: Uggh, horrible book. You should really just give up and read the SparkNotes. Thats what I did and it had everything.

P2: I'm pretty sure you can't read the SparkNotes for a Talbot class.

P1: Its the way to go.

Later--

P1: Dude, good luck with that. I hated that book. Worst book I have EVER read...ever.

Two years ago at Buswell

I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't there myself. This takes place at
the labbie desk where the stapler is labeled "please return to the
color printer."

Girl: Oh... Do you have another stapler? My paper is black and white, not color.
Her Friend (unfazed): Oh, it's okay, sweetie, go ahead.

A mere technicality

Football Player 1: what UP.

Football Player 2: Dude, I said hey to you earlier.

Football Player 1: No, you just gave me The Look.

But are they Verizon or Sprint?

Overheard in line at SAGA:

"Yeah, I'd like the beans, and the beef, and the cellphone noodles-- wait-- I mean-- the cellophane noodles."

Two Professors

Awkwardness isn't confined to students.

[Pause]
"So....did you survive the weekend?"
"Survive? Umm...well...survive? Yes."

Said to Ari Hyde:

"So Messianic Jews kinda believe in Jesus, right?"

Oh, fun!

"Well, this has been fun and all, but let's go to the library."

One word: Nerd.

"Gosh, that is the best class! I love Organic Chemistry!"

Thanks to Sunday School

"I don't mind like helping people, cus I know like that's what Christians are supposed to do."

Only at Wheaton

"So what are your majors?"

I could swear, I'm an atypical student at Wheaton because I only have one major, I'm not graduating early, and I didn't come in with sophomore or junior standing in credit hours.

It's fun to turn nouns into verbs.

"I hyperbolate."

This one sounds almost pompous.

Exam Stress Tactics

Overheard in Blanchard at 8am.

"So I was just reading some Haikus [sic] this morning..."

At Wilhelmina's request, please note that in correct English, "Haiku" is not made plural by adding an 's', the person quoted, however, was not so enlightened as our dear Wilhelmina. One might recommend putting this grammatical fact in your proverbial pipe and smoking it for a little while.

In the Stupe

Monday, May 4

"So, Israel and the Church are separate?" - A girl studying with a guy who was trying to explain.

Mild Overreaction

The Stupe

May 4; 2:00 PM

"I've been washing my hands since I heard of swine flu, at least, like every fifteen minutes."

- male Wheaton student

In Response to Saga's Swine Flu Prevention Measures. . .

"It's as if we've done something wrong, and we're being punished for it."

Pig Issues

Overheard in the Fischer kitchen on Friday:

"Mom, for someone who hasn't eaten a prepared meal here in four years, these changes are ridiculous!"

and later...

"so what we have is a bunch of underhydrated, vitamin deficient students at the most stressful time of year!"

Which leaves us to question why she chose to use the Fischer kitchen after being here 4 years?

Only at Wheaton

"I was going to have dinner by myself but this guy came and sat down and asked if I wanted to have an impromptu Bible Study. It actually was pretty cool, we got pretty deep. And then we debated Calvinism."

In a Restaurant

Person 1: "...and so, with globalization people can live anywhere and work via teleconferencing..."
Person 2: "Yeah, as Milton Friedman said, 'The world is flat'"
Person 1: "Uh, I think you mean Thomas Friedman. Milton Friedman was waay different."
Person 3: "Yeah, Mr. Paradise Lost"
Person 4: "No, you're thinking of Thomas Milton"
Person 1: "You're definitely thinking of John Milton. He wrote..."
Person 2: "Oh gosh, I can't keep all these straight"
Person 1: "Sigh. Lets just call them John Milton Thomas Friedman. How about that?"

That's Right

Beamer Center
10:53 AM

"Are you saying my wedding diet isn't working?"

A Breakfast Jingle

It loses something when relayed through writing, but one of my roommates stood next to a guy at the toaster in saga who sang unabashedly:

"I put my bread in the toaster. . . to make it into toast."

Probably not meant to be overheard

I rounded a corner just in time to hear one of a couple guys lounging outside my floor announce, "I'm not wearing underwear today."

A non sequitur if there ever was one

From two ladies awaiting the elevator in Blanchard:

"I'm the only one in my family of five not to be married yet. My brother has six kids already."

"Oh, are you Irish?"

It must be spring

"Dude, she's a freshman."

"Dude, I know."