Gospel in the Stupe

Said to a sinner: "God looks at you and sees the righteousness of Christ"

Summertime.

Overheard in Saga, the speaker is trying to convince a girl to come work for his organization for the summer:

Guy: Women live to what? 80?
Girl: Average is 76.
Guy: (Gets out cell phone, types a few numbers in) Statistically speaking, you have 684 months left to live. This summer is just 3 of them.

At a Table of Philosophy Majors

"Sex is the answer to mind-body dualism."

Prior to African-American Church Chapel

"I'm trying to be white, but I just can't pull it off."

A Healthy Appetite for Books

Overheard in Buswell:
"Hmm, the computer says you have $65 in fines."

SuperSenior

"Yeah, I've gotta get financial aid straightened out. It's harder for fifth year seniors. They don't like to give you money because you're obviously just bumming around."

Faster = Better

Girl: Swing dancing at Wheaton is stupid. The tempo is way too slow.

Slow dancing sucks. It literally makes me sick.
Guy: It can be fun if you've got a date, like, someone you've got, like, romantic interest in.
Girl: No, not even then. It sucks.

True Faith

A student was checking out information about the Sesquicentennial Gala, when an older staff person walked by:

Staff person: Well, what are you waiting for? Buy the tickets!

Student: I don't know. . . they're pretty expensive.

Staff person: You have a girl to take, don't you?

Student: No. . . not really.

Staff person: Well, buy them in faith!

I think it's a noble ambition.

"You know what I want to do? I want to get married and have babies."

If you had a parrot. . .

"Then on the second date, I went for the arm around the shoulder."

Asparagus.

While at Women's Chorale dinner, the conversation at the table lulls just in time for everyone to hear from the next table: "Am I going to have to go out and hire a baby to eat asparagus in front of you?"

Singleness

Person 1: I really want to be a parent.

Person 2: Oh, are you working on that?

Person 1: Well, its coming--slowly.